Have you ever had life confront you with clear evidence that something is very, very, wrong?
For me, it was coming home to find my husband of 18 years had moved out. While that was a shock – the problem that I was confronted with was a lack of financial security. I had recently left my corporate career to launch a coaching business, with all of “our” money tied up in “his” businesses.
I felt so incredibly stupid.
I was an intelligent woman, how had I ended up in this position?
And this is where I found my saving grace – I am an intelligent woman, the better question to ask myself was “How am I going to get what I want?”. This started me on a journey that would take a couple of years, to end with my divorce being finalized and my financial independence secured.
I have reflected on my journey and mapped out some steps to help others figure out how to get what they want too.
1. Know what you want.
This may seem super simple, but for me, this step took the better part of 12 months. The pitfalls of glossing over this step are you end up chasing a dream that is not yours. Take the time to truly understand what you want.
2. Why is this important?
Once you have landed on what you want, work out why it is important to you. I challenge you to write down 10 reasons why you want it and what it will mean for you when you attain it. What personal value does this speak to for you?
3. Share what you want.
This step can seem super scary, you may need to pick and choose who you share it with, but the benefit is twofold. Firstly, it helps you to commit to what you want, a form of accountability – speaking it out loud gives it power. Secondly, if you are negotiating with someone, telling them what you want is an important step in the process. It allows them to understand where you stand and what the parameters of the negotiation are.
4. You have the power.
Ultimately, you have full autonomy and power over yourself and you can get what you want. If you are struggling with this step write a list of your achievements, what are the skills that you have that allowed you to achieve these things? What are you good at? How can you leverage your skill set to get what you want?
5. Keep going.
Don’t give up, be persistent, be consistent, and believe in yourself. When self-doubt creeps in go back to Step 2 and remind yourself why this is important to you. Getting what you want requires hard work and commitment, and when you keep going you will achieve it.
6. Don’t negotiate with terrorists
For clarity, I don’t mean freedom fighters who are dedicated to a cause – but individuals who are “playing the game” or more focused on their ego than the outcome. If you can walk away, do it – find someone else to work with. Or use a mediator (like your lawyer) if walking away is not an option.
If you would like help on your journey to “Get what you want” I would love to hear from you. Check out my Venus profile and hit the link to book a Discovery Call, or visit my website: www.stonesthrow.co.nz