Mindset: Life happens to us but we do have choices.

Meeting Topic

Mindset: Life happens to us but we do have choices

Recap on this education topic from last fortnight (please note this has changed since the last meeting):

Today’s Meeting Topic is contributed by Mandy Beverly. You can find the full article at the end of this introduction.
When we learn to embrace BOTH positive and negative aspects of a situation is when we gain true power over our mindset and set ourselves up for greater success in life! Experiencing only the positive can contribute to keeping us ‘stuck’ or on a plateau. Experiencing only the negative sets us up for burnout. It’s all about finding balance between the two. What negative experience in YOUR business actually revealed an opportunity or an ‘up-side’? Invest just a couple of minutes sharing a few thoughts around your group on this topic.”

Further Reading

We choose how we respond, how we react, and how we create what we want.

You are not powerless despite the challenges that come your way. You are more powerful than you know. It’s necessary to have strategies to keep you in momentum and give you a different perspective when you hit life’s ‘speed bumps.’ If you’re fearful and trying to avoid negative feelings, you’re living life trying to be something you’re not – a one-sided human being. If you only see one thing in life, a positive without a negative or a negative without a positive, you are missing the gifts that are hiding in the ups and downs of life.

We ALL live in a universe occupied by a solar system with planets that revolve around a very bright star called the Sun. In this solar system, as with the rest of the universe, we are governed by laws. We know them as the Laws of the Universe. Gravity is one such law. Just like the laws that we live by in society have consequences if we break them, universal laws also can’t bend without consequences. The consequences in this instant will directly impact how we feel about ourselves in the areas of feelings, judgments, intuition, thoughts, beliefs, values, and purpose, mission, and vision.

You cannot have a positive without a negative happening at the same time. Both exist in every moment. In other words, everything is a game of opposites from the quantum and subatomic levels to the astronomical level. If you experience the positive with no negative downside or experience the negative without seeing the positive upside to someone or something, you will create emotions.

As much energy stores in our negative perspectives of fear and limitation as in our positive views. We’ll often focus on how something positive or negative makes us feel, instead of what we can do to open our minds to different possibilities. If you continuously experience challenges without seeing any support, you will experience burn out. If you’re only seeking and experiencing support without any challenges, you’ll stay stuck.

Feelings, unless synthesized, are incomplete. Incomplete feelings are emotions and only half of a full equation of energy. They keep us out of flow and momentum. This awareness enables you to look for the positive in any moment of challenge.

Everything about our existence is about growth. So, there will always be challenges and support in different areas of your life. You will frequently have your comfort zone stretched. Even if you’re not aware of this, you’ll attract experiences to ensure you have growth. Ever experienced challenges in business, relationships, or health?

So, how can you use that information in your business?

Each year we love to think about the year ahead. We also know challenges are inevitable. When faced with a challenge, aim to spend 10% on the problem and 90% on the solutions. It’s not always easy to remember in the moment, but it’s something to try. Forcing your mind to focus on potential solutions will give you strategies you may not have thought of yet. One approach could be to reach out quickly to a business coach or someone to make sure you’re not letting your problems take over. Make strategising potential solutions part of your planning process. Create stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks – the secret to creating momentum and professionalism.

In Seth Godin’s new book, The Practice, he gives an example of a business perspective, which I find helpful. “Doing what you love is for amateurs. Love what you do is the mantra for professionals.”

In other words, find meaning in what you do instead of shopping around or waiting, hoping you find something you can feel passionate about. Seth says that if you’re constantly trying to figure out if you feel like it, then you’re letting yourself off the hook.

It also takes the angst and indecision out of your day and stops the self-doubt. Immediately you’re focused on your work and less on how you feel about it. You’ll feel engaged. That’s when flow happens. We don’t get flow and then do the work, it’s the other way around.

Creativity is an action, not a feeling. Your work is too important to be left to how you feel today. – Seth Godin.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you implement what you just read:

  1. What challenges have created up-sides or opportunities in your business?
  2. What are 3 strategies that you will use to stay in momentum this year?
  3. What is one thing that you need to put on your action list and not your ‘do I feel like it’ list?

You can find out more about Mandy Beverly here: www.remarkablegroup.co.nz

Education Topic

Mindset: Ready set…Mindset

Today’s Education Topic (which will become the meeting topic for next time) is contributed by Carol Reid. You can find the full article at the end of this introduction.

‘Did you know that within 17 seconds of a thought entering your mind, you’re already processing related thoughts. Within a minute, your mind is taking you on tangents – with or without your consent!

The good news is that you can change that. One technique that Carol Reid of Soulpreneurs shares in this article is simply to sit with it and observe it without judgement – be curious. Another strategy is to ‘catch’ a negative train of thought in its tracks and re-frame it as a positive. In this article, Carol shows us how to do just that!’ 

Further Reading

Ready, set…? Did you hear ‘Go’? That’s an example of mental conditioning. When you were younger, you learned that ‘Ready, set…’ was followed by ‘go’ to start races or competitions. So now, your mind automatically fills in that blank.

If you’re anything like me, your mind takes you on wild goose chases, runs you around worst case scenarios, and generally keeps you up at night.  Actually, correction – my mind used to do that, but since I trained it, I get it to do what I want (most of the time).  I can control which thoughts go into my mind, which thoughts I take control of, and which I discard.

Within 17 seconds of thought entering your mind, you’re processing related thoughts. Within a minute, your mind is taking you on tangents – with or without your consent!

The good news is that you can change that.  Here are four simple techniques for working with the mind and with negative thoughts:

  1. Cut off the thought (replace the negative thought with a positive thought). When you start thinking something that’s not helpful to you such as, “Why did she say that? Why didn’t they include me in that? I never get included. People just don’t like me,” replace those thoughts with more positive ones, such as: “People really do care. I’m sure she was just having a bad day. They just didn’t notice me and that’s okay because I can’t control what they see.”
  2. Observe it (become the observer of the negative thought)……Have the negative thought play around in the background. Don’t get worked up over it or try to analyse it, just observe it and watch what your mind does.
  3. Exaggerate it into ridiculousness. Have fun with this one. Here’s an example: You are stressing about a presentation you have to make and having all kinds of thoughts that it won’t go well, that they won’t like you, that you will mess up.  Exaggerate all your fears and worries into such ridiculousness that you laugh out loud at it.  For instance, you might imagine that everyone comes to the presentation naked, you are the only one clothed and they all think you are amazing because you teach them how to wear clothes!
  4. Counteract the thought with its exact opposite. As soon as the negative thought starts to rise, replace it with the complete opposite. Counteract the thought, “I’m feeling tired right now,” with, “I’m feeling really energetic (or my favourite) I am recharging, I am recharging.”  By the time you’ve said that for an hour, you are fully charged!

Unfortunately, in this country we have an epidemic of low self-esteem.  New Zealand has the highest suicide rate of any country in the developed world.  The group with the highest depression rate is people aged 45-54 years old.  One in four women are on anti-depressants.

Here’s the thing. Our self-talk is the basis of our self-esteem.  If we are having thoughts about ourselves that are hurtful, mean-spirited or just downright nasty, this will affect how we interact with the world and how we feel about ourselves.  Would you be friends with someone who was cruel to you?  So why do you keep allowing your own mind to treat you this way? Now, if you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s crazy, I don’t talk to myself ,”…… well hello – you just did!  And you will have over 60,000 thoughts today alone.  It’s no wonder that if some of those thoughts are self-directed nasty thoughts, we feel low, anxious, depressed or lack self-belief.

Your mind is your own.  No one has entry into your head but you.  Stop giving your power away to your thoughts, and take control of them.  You cannot know what someone else is thinking but we try to do this all the time – stop wasting this energy. Concentrate on your own mind and getting it thinking thoughts that are supportive and loving.  Your world will open up and you will notice things will change for you.  Now ready, set …. GO! …… and be amazing!

You can get in touch with Carol Reid of Soulpreneurs here: https://www.soulpreneurs.co.nz/contact/

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