Befriend and Transcend Fear By Carol Reid

We all know our friend Fear.  It creeps up behind us and shouts “BOO” at the most inopportune times.  It screams “who are you to start that business?”  “What do you know about doing that role?”  When we experience failure, Fear says “I’ll be here in the dark shadows smiling and telling you: I told you so”.

But Fear can be our friend. Fear can teach us so many lessons. Fear can save us. Discernment is the key. When is Fear our friend and when is Fear our foe? Will you let it hold you back from a life well lived?

Here are 12 Core Human Fears. A FEAR OF…..

Failure: Remember, there is no success without failure. You’re preventing yourself from growing if you don’t take the opportunity. Failure is market research!

Success: You might not want to stand out too much. What did your parents teach you about success? Don’t skite, don’t show off? Leave it in the past where it belongs.

Rejection: This is feeling too scared to ask for what we want. What if they say no? Oh, but what if they say yes? People aren’t mind readers. ASK for what you want.

Not Being Good Enough: People also call this Imposter Syndrome. I’m not smart enough to do that.  I’m not good enough to say or be that.  Is nothing ever good enough for you? Check back into childhood. Take back your power from Mum, Dad, Sibling, Aunt, Uncle, Family Friend and prove them wrong.

Scarcity: This affects your choices. Fear of not having enough. We get from life not what we WANT but what we ARE.  Be generous, and abundance will follow you. Your inner world influences and reflects your outer world. Look for the win/win in every interaction.

Looking Different: This is managing the expectations of others. If I stand out, I will be judged. Live by your values. Be true to yourself. Will it matter in 10 years’ time, five years’ time, one year from now?

Losing Control: We know this as fear of the unknown. Most of life is unknown. If you knew then what you know now, you wouldn’t have held on so tightly. People on their death bed often remark – I wish I had trusted more and not taken things so seriously. Flex your letting go muscle more often and trust that life is unfolding FOR you and not TO you.

Being Alone: What we do to fill our lives up from the outside is all an escape and  feeds the fear rather than filling yourself up. Be okay to be by yourself but participate in the world. Know thyself.

Illness:  We’ve all been sick at one time or other. Some of us have survived serious DIS-Ease. The body is a miracle. Look after your body and treat it well. It’s your personal mode of transport. You live in it 24/7. When you say you don’t have time to exercise or eat well you really don’t have time not to. There are only 168 hours in a week – schedule in time to tune and fuel your engine.

Love: We tend to reject before we can be rejected. However, when we live with an open heart, we can create miracles. People will remember you for how you made them feel not what you did or had. There are no moving vans following the hearse! Love now while you still can.

Insignificance: This is the fear that our lives are unfulfilled or that we don’t matter. The fact is none of us are here by chance. You are unique and your uniqueness benefits the world. Use it.

Death: No one is getting out of here alive! Worry is a form of prayer. Your personal power is in this present moment – use it wisely and accept what can’t be changed and change what is in your power to change. It’s your game of life – play it well.

Your greatest growth lies in living outside your comfort zone. There is no security in the safe harbour of the known – that’s just an illusion – and things will change tomorrow anyway.

So, what is the antidote to fear, I hear you asking? It’s really simple. Love is the antidote to fear. Where there is love, fear cannot exist. You cannot feel love and fear in the same moment.

And how do you bring in more love? Tell yourself a new story. Re-create the past by embracing your future. Create a legacy of a life well lived. Use the 0.25 seconds between stimulus and response to change your story. Catch yourself in the moment and make a better choice.

Better awareness equals better choices. How will letting go of one of these core human fears affect your business? What will YOU change the next time a core human fear comes knocking on your door, wanting to come in for a cuppa and a chat?

Carol is a Desire Map practitioner and helps her clients feel inspired so they can thrive! Want to know more about she can help you? Visit her website here: