Befriend and Transcend Fear By Carol Reid

Meeting Topic


Whether you’re just starting out in business or you’ve been at it for a while, keeping a positive mindset can be a struggle at times.

This article, contributed by Cassandra Hogan, highlights some common obstacles that tend to come up at some point in the business journey – things like Imposter Syndrome, lack of confidence, fear of failure and worry – along with tips on how to overcome them. As you prepare for your 60-second introduction this time, read the full article and share with your group one tip YOU use to keep your outlook healthy OR one strategy Cassandra gives that you know you could use to help you become more effective.

Your Business Mindset By Cassandra Hogan

Do you doubt yourself?

Do you find yourself thinking ‘Who am I to be doing what I’m doing’, ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘there are so many people out there who are better at this than me…’

You may be experiencing imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is where you doubt your skills, accomplishments or talents and may feel fearful of being exposed as a “fraud” or essentially an “imposter” in your business.

Because it’s not well talked about, a lot of people don’t know that imposter syndrome is what they may be experiencing. Therefore, you may believe that what you’re thinking is true, and this can have detrimental effects on your business.

If you feel you are experiencing imposter syndrome, here are some tips to work through it:

1) Be aware of it. On the bad days where niggly thoughts are appearing, realise that they are only thoughts – they are not real. Separate the facts from your feelings.

2) Failure is a normal part of starting business. Develop healthy responses to your failures, use it as a steppingstone to pivot, learn and grow from your mistakes.

3) Write down the negative thoughts – are they limiting beliefs that you may need to work through and let go?

4) Be kind and gentle on yourself – look at your wins, your strengths and accomplishments and be proud of how far you have come.

5) Have a good support network where you can share your concerns.

6) Keep going! Many people experience negative thoughts and doubts in the business start-up process or at times when business is booming or not growing as you would like. Consistency is the game changer.

Fear of Failure

One of the main limiting beliefs people carry is the fear of failure. This is what stops A LOT of people going into business in the first place.

Fear is a healthy and important part of life. We grow from pushing through the fear and out of our comfort zone.

And failure is not as bad as you think. Failure shows you are pushing forward – you are putting yourself out there. It helps you to grow your business.

If you experience failure its normal to feel defeated for a bit but use the feedback that comes from the failure to change and pivot your business to what people want. Failure provides the best feedback for success!

If you are finding the fear crippling and it’s stopping you from pushing forward with your business here are some questions you can ask yourself to break it down:

1) What is the worst thing that could happen if you move forward?

2) If the worst thing happened, how would you deal with it? Put a plan in place.

3) On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst thing that could ever happen and 1 being the least), rate your fear.

4) What is the best thing that could happen if you push through your fear?

5) How would you feel when this happens?

You’ll be able to see from your answers that even if the worst thing happened, you will be able to deal with it and you will be okay. And when you succeed, you’ll feel AMAZING, and your business will keep growing.

Overwhelming Thoughts – Postponing Worry

A common obstacle that business owners have is overthinking. There are so many things to think about when in business and especially if you are running it on your own – it can be hard to keep up, right?

However, it’s important to acknowledge that overthinking is not productive at the best of times… One of the most effective tools is an exercise called postponing worry. This is used for general worry but also in anxiety.

Allocate a dedicated time slot per day for 30 minutes. This is your ‘worry’ period. You can worry all you like in these 30 minutes.

If you find yourself worrying about something during the day, make a quick note of it and tell yourself I’ll worry about this in my allocated worry time. By doing this you’re acknowledging the concern and it allows you to know it will be dealt with, but it won’t stop you from being productive now.

Most of the time you may get to your worry period and the overthinking has subsided and the issue that you thought was huge a few hours ago has diminished.

Your Inner Critic

Are you aware of your inner critic?

Your inner critic is that little voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do something, or that its going to be too hard etc. Everyone has an inner critic and unfortunately in general the way we talk to ourselves is a lot harsher than how we would talk to a friend or someone else.

Becoming aware of your inner critic and the way you speak to yourself can be lifechanging.

Some people even like to label their inner critic to help distinguish that they are only thoughts and not real. It’s always easier to tell ‘Steve to shut up’ rather than yourself.

Awareness allows you to tap into parts of your belief system. Are you constantly telling yourself ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘everyone else could do this better’ for example? By jotting down your thoughts, you can work out if anything else needs to be worked through. It gives a good indication of your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs can be debilitating at times but the good news is they can be changed and realigned to the you that you are now, not the one from 20 or 30 years ago.

General Confidence

The above tips will inadvertently help with general confidence but if you find your confidence is lacking and this is stopping you from pushing your business then here are some extra tips:

1) Think big but start small. You don’t need to have it all figured out today. Plan and aim to achieve three to four things per week. Once those things have been achieved – celebrate them! Be proud of yourself.

2) Be consistent. The most solid, secure businesses are not the ones who tried to do everything in one go, they are the ones that just started and slowly built and evolved their business with the use of their failures and client feedback.

3) Surround yourself with positive people who are backing you, support your ideas and what you are trying to achieve.

4) Step outside your comfort zone. While this can seem scary at first this is the ultimate area of growth. The thing that scares you the most is where you need to go and once it’s done and you realise it wasn’t that scary – guess what increases – CONFIDENCE.

5) Work with a life coach or business mentor. Someone who can keep you accountable and believe in you especially on those days where it can all seem too hard.

6) Use positive affirmations. Your thoughts are only thoughts, they are not real. If you find yourself with your inner critic (Steve) speaking negatively, turn that thought around and tell yourself you can do this. Positive affirmations are effective when incorporated into your everyday life and repeated often. Put them in your phone, write them on your mirror, put them in your diary or use post it notes around your office and home.

7) Look after yourself. When starting a business it’s easy to spend every hour on it as there is a lot to do. BUT if you don’t look after yourself with rest, sleep, exercise and eating well it can lead to burnout. By looking after yourself you support your health and wellbeing which leads to increased energy and confidence. The take on the world feeling.

Cassandra is a certified, professional mindset and business coach at Fontein Coaching. She helps women live their best life while running their own business. Check out here website HERE.

Next Meeting Topic


This week’s article for our Mindset Pillar has been contributed by Carol Reid- owner of Soulpreneurs. She shares an overview of the 12 core human fears and ways we can better manage them. Remember – FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real! Don’t fall prey to the lies your brain may be telling you in its misdirected efforts to keep you ‘safe’.

As you prepare for your next meeting, consider sharing one fear that you have conquered and what strategy you used to do so with your group – we’re all here to support one another, so share a relevant lesson you’ve learned about FEAR.

Befriend and Transcend Fear By Carol Reid

We all know our friend Fear.  It creeps up behind us and shouts “BOO” at the most inopportune times.  It screams “who are you to start that business?”  “What do you know about doing that role?”  When we experience failure, Fear says “I’ll be here in the dark shadows smiling and telling you: I told you so”.

But Fear can be our friend. Fear can teach us so many lessons. Fear can save us. Discernment is the key. When is Fear our friend and when is Fear our foe? Will you let it hold you back from a life well lived?

Here are 12 Core Human Fears. A FEAR OF…..

Failure: Remember, there is no success without failure. You’re preventing yourself from growing if you don’t take the opportunity. Failure is market research!

Success: You might not want to stand out too much. What did your parents teach you about success? Don’t skite, don’t show off? Leave it in the past where it belongs.

Rejection: This is feeling too scared to ask for what we want. What if they say no? Oh, but what if they say yes? People aren’t mind readers. ASK for what you want.

Not Being Good Enough: People also call this Imposter Syndrome. I’m not smart enough to do that.  I’m not good enough to say or be that.  Is nothing ever good enough for you? Check back into childhood. Take back your power from Mum, Dad, Sibling, Aunt, Uncle, Family Friend and prove them wrong.

Scarcity: This affects your choices. Fear of not having enough. We get from life not what we WANT but what we ARE.  Be generous, and abundance will follow you. Your inner world influences and reflects your outer world. Look for the win/win in every interaction.

Looking Different: This is managing the expectations of others. If I stand out, I will be judged. Live by your values. Be true to yourself. Will it matter in 10 years’ time, five years’ time, one year from now?

Losing Control: We know this as fear of the unknown. Most of life is unknown. If you knew then what you know now, you wouldn’t have held on so tightly. People on their death bed often remark – I wish I had trusted more and not taken things so seriously. Flex your letting go muscle more often and trust that life is unfolding FOR you and not TO you.

Being Alone: What we do to fill our lives up from the outside is all an escape and  feeds the fear rather than filling yourself up. Be okay to be by yourself but participate in the world. Know thyself.

Illness:  We’ve all been sick at one time or other. Some of us have survived serious DIS-Ease. The body is a miracle. Look after your body and treat it well. It’s your personal mode of transport. You live in it 24/7. When you say you don’t have time to exercise or eat well you really don’t have time not to. There are only 168 hours in a week – schedule in time to tune and fuel your engine.

Love: We tend to reject before we can be rejected. However, when we live with an open heart, we can create miracles. People will remember you for how you made them feel not what you did or had. There are no moving vans following the hearse! Love now while you still can.

Insignificance: This is the fear that our lives are unfulfilled or that we don’t matter. The fact is none of us are here by chance. You are unique and your uniqueness benefits the world. Use it.

Death: No one is getting out of here alive! Worry is a form of prayer. Your personal power is in this present moment – use it wisely and accept what can’t be changed and change what is in your power to change. It’s your game of life – play it well.

Your greatest growth lies in living outside your comfort zone. There is no security in the safe harbour of the known – that’s just an illusion – and things will change tomorrow anyway.

So, what is the antidote to fear, I hear you asking? It’s really simple. Love is the antidote to fear. Where there is love, fear cannot exist. You cannot feel love and fear in the same moment.

And how do you bring in more love? Tell yourself a new story. Re-create the past by embracing your future. Create a legacy of a life well lived. Use the 0.25 seconds between stimulus and response to change your story. Catch yourself in the moment and make a better choice.

Better awareness equals better choices. How will letting go of one of these core human fears affect your business? What will YOU change the next time a core human fear comes knocking on your door, wanting to come in for a cuppa and a chat?

Carol is a Desire Map practitioner and helps her clients feel inspired so they can thrive! Want to know more about she can help you? Visit her website here: